I love Him and He loves me

31/05/12  There are so many suicides nowadays. Every single day. So many. People are driven to despair, either because they don’t know the Lord, or because they know the Lord and know it’s the only way out. Suicide is a sin, but Jesus paid for our sins, even suicide. His mercy is everlasting. When people come before their time, they just have to learn from that side how to overcome what they didn’t while on earth. They have to heal. For most people, it will take as long as it would have if they had stayed on earth. If they’re saved, they won’t be able to enjoy the fullness of Heaven until their time has come. They have to heal first, and then help the people who remained on earth that either caused their suicide, or that got hurt by it. It’s all loving, but it’s a process they have to go through. And if they didn’t know the Lord, they have to get to know him. They have to learn about the world of the spirit, about the forces of good and evil. The spirit world is very complex, but it’s also very simple. And it’s very fair, very just and righteous. God does not make mistakes. Even when it appears to humans that He does, He really doesn’t. He didn’t make any mistake with me. Yes He could have healed me, when we prayed so many times. He used this sickness to keep me dependant on Him, so I wouldn’t forget Him.

I wanted to be so strong, so independent. But Jesus made me weak.

Jesus picked me up. Just like that verse He gave you for me, when my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. And up He took me, and I’ve been so happy. So that’s the happy ending. So very happy ending. Or happy beginning. I missed the rest of my life on earth, but I did accomplish a good chunk of what the Lord wanted me to, maybe even all that I was meant to accomplish, so it’s all good.

I want to make your load lighter, I want to take away your sadness. I know you miss me. I know it’s hard to think of how we could have spent this time together, you helping me get set up and all. But I’m happy now, happier than I would have ever been on earth. I loved life so much. But I love life Up Here even more.

You need to stop thinking and analyzing about what could have happened and what you should have done or not done. You need to look at the facts today, that I’m healthy and happy and in the best possible place (and school) there is or ever will be. Yes, I would like to leave my mark on this earth. Yes, I’m happy for everything you’re working on so I won’t be forgotten. I wanted my life to make a difference, and I’m happy you’re there to proclaim it. It means a lot to me and it helps with my healing, that my life was not in vain, that I did do something for the Lord. I need you to highlight the positive and the beauty of my life, everything that lifted up Jesus and helped others. I need that. So thank you for working on it. Keep thinking on the good, ok? I know it makes you happy. We have so much to be thankful for. No one wants to remember the bad. Or the suffering. It’s all forgotten now. Jesus is here to bring healing to us all. He’s just wonderful. Beyond words. I only wish I had given Him more praise and trust while I was on earth. He deserves so much more. I love Him and He loves me. And that’s all that matters.