My testimony

17/08/2012 (To Dad) Yes the shame and guilt were there when I first met Jesus on this side. But then He washed it all away with His love and forgiveness. And from then on I am happy. What extreme joy! It was like when you Dad first got saved. All my shame and guilt was washed away by His forgiveness and love. You remember the bad things that happened to you but without the shame and guilt and sorrow and pain and hurt. You know what I mean. So you see you haven’t failed, ‘cause Jesus never fails.

I know better now, I see clearly. You and mom didn’t fail. Now what happened to me is my testimony. Just like you have your testimony. We tell our stories up here and they are a testimony just like yours on your side of the curtain. It is victorious, it is powerful, it is beautiful, all to the glory of God and Jesus.  We continue to witness to others by our stories here. So many people to meet, so many to tell our stories to.   It is healing just like yours. So you see, you did not fail.

It will all be right in the end

29/06/2012 When you come Up Here, we can catch up! We’ll have eternity to do all the things we wanted to do together and just be together.

The devil can no longer lay a finger on me. I’m safe forever. It’ll all be right in the end.

I love Him and He loves me

31/05/12  There are so many suicides nowadays. Every single day. So many. People are driven to despair, either because they don’t know the Lord, or because they know the Lord and know it’s the only way out. Suicide is a sin, but Jesus paid for our sins, even suicide. His mercy is everlasting. When people come before their time, they just have to learn from that side how to overcome what they didn’t while on earth. They have to heal. For most people, it will take as long as it would have if they had stayed on earth. If they’re saved, they won’t be able to enjoy the fullness of Heaven until their time has come. They have to heal first, and then help the people who remained on earth that either caused their suicide, or that got hurt by it. It’s all loving, but it’s a process they have to go through. And if they didn’t know the Lord, they have to get to know him. They have to learn about the world of the spirit, about the forces of good and evil. The spirit world is very complex, but it’s also very simple. And it’s very fair, very just and righteous. God does not make mistakes. Even when it appears to humans that He does, He really doesn’t. He didn’t make any mistake with me. Yes He could have healed me, when we prayed so many times. He used this sickness to keep me dependant on Him, so I wouldn’t forget Him.

I wanted to be so strong, so independent. But Jesus made me weak.

Jesus picked me up. Just like that verse He gave you for me, when my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. And up He took me, and I’ve been so happy. So that’s the happy ending. So very happy ending. Or happy beginning. I missed the rest of my life on earth, but I did accomplish a good chunk of what the Lord wanted me to, maybe even all that I was meant to accomplish, so it’s all good.

I want to make your load lighter, I want to take away your sadness. I know you miss me. I know it’s hard to think of how we could have spent this time together, you helping me get set up and all. But I’m happy now, happier than I would have ever been on earth. I loved life so much. But I love life Up Here even more.

You need to stop thinking and analyzing about what could have happened and what you should have done or not done. You need to look at the facts today, that I’m healthy and happy and in the best possible place (and school) there is or ever will be. Yes, I would like to leave my mark on this earth. Yes, I’m happy for everything you’re working on so I won’t be forgotten. I wanted my life to make a difference, and I’m happy you’re there to proclaim it. It means a lot to me and it helps with my healing, that my life was not in vain, that I did do something for the Lord. I need you to highlight the positive and the beauty of my life, everything that lifted up Jesus and helped others. I need that. So thank you for working on it. Keep thinking on the good, ok? I know it makes you happy. We have so much to be thankful for. No one wants to remember the bad. Or the suffering. It’s all forgotten now. Jesus is here to bring healing to us all. He’s just wonderful. Beyond words. I only wish I had given Him more praise and trust while I was on earth. He deserves so much more. I love Him and He loves me. And that’s all that matters.

Eternal creation

23/4/12 I’m so happy. Everything is at peace, everything is the way it’s supposed to be. I feel such peace inside. Such joy. I know that everything is going to work out in the end, and that one day we will all be re-united, and even better than our dreams and plans. It will all be right in the end, Mommy. We will be at peace with each other, we will feel love once again, it will be beautiful. I just have to wait for that day. I know it will come, even sooner than we all think, I’m sure. 

I get to do so many fun things. I get to create as well. It’s quite awesome that the Lord actually lets me create, when He’s the creator of all things. But He’s got a creation team here, and I got invited to be part of it, and it’s so much fun, you can’t even imagine. I’m learning so much. No wonder I had so many ideas when I was on earth, now I know where it all came from. And it was all a preparation for now. Everything is so real here. This is the true reality. Earth was like a picture, a preparation of things to come. But earth was temporal, so here feels so much more real, ‘cause it’s eternal. Not to say earth was not important. Don’t get me wrong. Earth is super important, ‘cause we only get one go at life, and everything we do on earth really counts up Here. But it’s temporal, whereas Heaven is eternal. Anyway, back to creating, and the creation team. God just loves creating, and it didn’t stop after the 6 days of creation. Even though all the main great creations happened during those days, He has continued creating ever since, like every new human being. Even angels. He continues creating. And He’s got a creation team that helps Him with the minor stuff, like creating music or songs, creating works of art, creating heavenly buildings, heavenly events, creating books and stories, it’s endless. Some of these creations get passed on to human artists, and some are just for here. It’s so beautiful, so amazing, and it never stops. I love it. I’m not there all the time, cause I have other things to do, as you know, like helping people on earth, watching over you guys, helping people I love here and there, also having fun in Heaven, meeting celebrities, spending time with my friends and family, relatives. Getting to know my relatives is actually very interesting and takes a fair bit of my time. You know me, I’m so interested in everything. I’m sure glad to be Up Here, now, ‘cause there’s so much to do, so much I’m interested in, that I’m definitely gonna need an eternity to do it all. So it’s real neat, since I’ve got eternity actually, I don’t need to feel stressed, I can just relax and enjoy every moment and every new opportunity. It’s great. Totally perfect for me. So that’s to give you an idea of what I do Up Here, how I’m spending my eternity. And I can’t say I like this better than that. I love it all. I love helping others, as you know already. I love creating, as you also know. I love learning. So I’m in my element. Totally. I wish I could tell you all about it, describe it all, give you more details. But I know you’re busy too, and I’ve got to leave some for when you come. But whenever we can chat together, I’ll be more than happy to tell you more about it. For example today, I helped on the creation team with a new project that is going to take shape in a few years from now (that’s earth’s years). I can’t really tell you too much about it, but it’s got to do with the years before Jesus comes back, when new elements are going to be needed to help humans and God’s children to survive and to gain more strength. So we’re working on creating all kinds of specific elements that will help them connect more easily and more strongly with Headquarters. There are going to be signs, logos, symbols, music, songs. It’s fascinating for me. What I love also is that our creating is not limited by time or space, it’s not limited by 3 dimensions, but it can expand, in fact it needs to be multifaceted, it can be 5-dimensional, and we can even link sound, sight, feelings. It’s amazing. My mind is just expanding in a way that is thrilling for me. It’s so hard to explain and describe, but I know you’re getting the gist of it.

(About my blog http://www.natalieannevolpe.blogspot.com/) It’s important to me that my life continues to be a witness, I would like to reach more people, and I pray this blog will help me to do that, that my life, my art, my writings, will touch more people and help them along life’s way, and help point them to the Lord. So it means a lot to me that you’re spending time on that, that you’re doing it for me. I really appreciate it, and I wanted to thank you. I love you.

Phoebe's first anniversary

Contribution from Phoebe who went to Heaven on March 20^th, 2013 after battling with AML (Acute Myloid Leukemia). She was 22 years old, born & raised in Bangkok, Thailand, and passed in Bourne, Texas.

March 20, 2014

Hey Mom, I’m so happy here! I’m having so much fun, all my dreams are coming true & it’s so much better than I ever dreamed. Jesus knows our hearts desires & He longs to give them to us in His time & in His way. Mom, Heaven is unbelievable!

Yeah mom, you do need to let go a bit, I know you don’t want to, you want to cling onto me & keep me near & I promise mom, I am always near, just a call away & I can come into your presence & be there to hold you & whisper in your ear. Mom, I love you! I know it’s hard, it’s hard to let go of what is so dear to your heart and I understand that. I understand how special I am to you yet it’s time, time to start letting go of the sadness of my passing & how this affects you. I know you believe in Heaven & all but there is just something there that isn’t right & you have to let it go. You have to be happy, fuller of full faith & really praising Him in spite of my passing. Praising Him I can be a blessing to so many. I can help so many more people from here than I ever could there. So let go of the bits of sadness you hold onto, please mom. I only want you to be truly happy. Just let it go, walk away, leave it in the bundle of faith and with all the stuff about my passing that you don’t understand…He knows. Okay mom? For me…please!

Today, enjoy the kids, enjoy the time together, you don’t have to have a plan you just have to be happy & full of His spirit so He can come shining through & use you to be a blessing & strength to them on this special day. Be full of praise today; keep praising Him for all He did through the trying of our faith. Praise Him because He deserves the love & honor & glory. Praise Him so His spirit can come shining through. He works in all our lives, step by step, each one is on their journey, so pray, praise & let Him lead.

Okay Mom, I have to go, celebration time! Hey, I RIP! We’re having a big party for all the 1^st year arrivals and I’m going to dress up real pretty & put on my Heavenly make-up & cologne & dance and dance & dance. I get to dance with Jesus tonight, oh, I melt in His arms & embarrass and we have loads of fun! So when you think of me today, think of me dancing, think of me enjoying friends & being the center of attention because it’s my day, the day I arrived in the most beautiful, spectacular place in the whole universe! I can’t wait for your arrival. Aaron (Phoebe’s mom’s second child, born, still born) & I have it all planned out, your arrival tour, it will be special! Hey mom, we’ll be ahead of you & Dad, now that can only happen when Heaven is involved! Watch the movie, “Heaven is Real”, you’ll love it mom!

Off to party, love ya! Kiss, touch on the cheek with my little hand (Phoebe’s left hand had no fingers, it’s called, “Symbrachydactyly” it is a condition in which a child is born with small or missing fingers or a missing hand, the most common form of a hand or arm deficiency.  It is thought that there is insufficient developing tissue for all of the parts of a full arm and hand to form, most commonly because the fingers did not develop completely during the second month of pregnancy.”). Oh yeah mom, I can’t wait for you to get here & see my new hand and all I can do with it! So much to tell you, so much to show you, I’m so looking forward to our time together!

I love you Mom, Your Fibz (Nick name for Phoebe)