The butterfly

(Every since she was a little girl, Natalie has always loved butterflies. When Jerry’s “Butterfly” song came out, it became her favorite. At the time, I thought she didn’t realize what the song was really about, but maybe she did and this song was an early comfort to her for what would happen years later. For her 8^th birthday, it had to be a butterfly cake and I had to make her a butterfly outfit for the “Little Creature” party we organized. 

The last entry in her diary, hours before she passed away, was the words to the same “Butterfly” song. A couple years before, while in Congo, she wrote about the comfort a certain butterfly on our balcony brought to her when it landed on her hand, and she took pictures of it. So since she went to Heaven, butterflies always remind us of her and help us feel her presence. They also remind us that one day, we will all shed our earthly cocoon and fly off to Heaven.

When living in Congo, Natie had created a party business, for which I still receive calls from time to time. 

Last night was one of those occasions, and I felt her presence while painting the children’s faces. At the end of the evening, as I was packing up to leave, I noticed on the window right behind me a single butterfly inside the building where the party was held. It rested on the window sill right above my shoulder. It was identical to the one that had comforted her years ago by landing on her hand. So I also extended my hand towards it. The little butterfly crept on my fingers and remained there. I walked around with it resting in the palm of my hand. It never budged or attempted to fly away, until one of the children came by and tried touching it. Then it flew away. I don’t know how Natie managed that one, she must have asked the Lord to make it all happen just for my sake, to comfort my heart in the same way that little butterfly had comforted her. To me, there is no doubt that it was a very tangible yet extraordinary manifestation of her presence, and of her love for me. It was actually the very first time in my life that a butterfly willingly climbed on my fingers and remained in my hand for such a long time.)

16/03/14 Mom, I want to tell you that it makes me real happy when I can manifest my love to you like I did yesterday. Lots of time, you don’t see me (well obviously) you don’t feel my presence, even when I’m there. Sometimes it’s fun to play invisible, but other times I really want you to know I’m there! So the Lord works it out and talks to butterflies. It’s something I’d like to learn to do actually, to talk to butterflies. Some animals are easier to communicate with than humans. Here’s another art I need to learn! I think you’d be real good at it, Mom, ‘cause you have a real love for animals. But it’s ok, I can start with butterflies, ‘cause they remind you of me. (just then a butterfly flew on our balcony)